Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I put out a request on Facebook recently, a cry for help if you will, looking for suggestions of topics about which to write. I got a few random subjects, one of which debuted yesterday talking about hair, and one that sounded like it had an entire back story of its own, and since I had not been present for said story I could not presume to detail it in text. Today’s winning topic is capri pants. See, random. Actually, let’s not say winning. I’m not sure how winning this is going to be. Chosen topic. Better. Capri pants. What about them? Why them? Why now? I suppose because warmer weather is here. It’s too hot for regular pants but you’re not quite ready to expose your entire leg so you showcase your ankle and lower calf. Just a little at a time. Then when you’re comfortable enough you can work your way up to Bermuda shorts. It’s like a time-lapse strip tease. Just remember to continue to shave as far as is necessary as your hem rises. I daresay you will never see me in capri pants, pedal pushers, clam diggers, etc… One reason is because I am short. Not to say that capris should not be sold to short people. Wear what you want. I just prefer not to look any shorter than I already am. The raised pant leg breaks up the line of the leg and just chops you right up. At a statuesque 5’4”, I prefer to look as tall as possible and I cannot do so wearing capri pants. Another reason I don’t wear them is because I’m fairly certain that my ankles are going to get cold. I just don’t think shoes and knee socks are the right match for capris. It kind of defeats the purpose. You could put on leg warmers but then, for all anyone else knows, you’re just wearing pants. They can’t see the exposed six inches of ankle, as it is no longer exposed. I also feel that I don’t have the appropriate footwear. Furthermore, do not confuse capri pants with highwaters. They are not the same. Inexplicably, though, even highwaters had a brief popularity in the last few years. I have no clue as to why. It just looks as though you are not aware that your pants are a little too short. Like you had a growth spurt. You’re 34, you had no growth spurt, you just have bad taste in pant lengths. Cousin to the capri pants is the utterly horrendous gaucho, since we’re talking about highwaters and other such tasteless trousers. Gaucho pants also saw quite the resurgence in the millennium, though God only knows why. I still see them on occasion and wonder why. It’s as though someone wanted all the flowing movement of a circle skirt with the practicality of board shorts. Thus was spawned the red-headed step-child of both items, the gaucho. Yet another incarnation of short pants you will never see me wear. The weather is turning hotter every day. Sadly, the capri pant is just not an option for me. If it’s that hot, I’m wearing shorts. Then my entire leg can get cold instead of just the ankle. So what say you? Do you Capri? And just what shoes are right for those things?